The Brainiacs Read online

  That’s a weird way of saying I’m smart, Kip thought. Still Kip was pleased. Looking intelligent was the point of his mission!

  It was Gorb’s turn again.

  ‘What colour are the custards of Eron?’ Einstein asked him.

  ‘Teal,’ Gorb blurted. ‘No, wait – I mean transparent!’

  ‘Can’t pay that, sorry,’ Einstein said. ‘Your first answer was teal and that is incorrrrrrrrrrrrect.’

  Gorb looked devastated. Kip could tell he was clever. But a moment of forgetfulness eliminated him.

  Suddenly, there was a hiss. A thick purple fog filled the stage, surrounding Kip and Gorb. Kip couldn’t see anything, but after a moment, he heard a surprised cry.

  The fog dissolved into a shimmering purple powder. It sprinkled onto the floor of the stage. The only thing left of Kip’s opponent was a single smashed monocle.

  ‘Right, kiddo,’ said Einstein, turning to Kip. ‘If you answer this question correctly, you’re through to the next round! What is the best way to prepare the six-legged Seppod?’

  Easy! thought Kip, trying not to look at the smashed monocle. ‘You roast it for 35.6 hours,’ he said confidently.

  ‘Correct!’ said Einstein. ‘Give the Earthling a round of applause, folks!’

  Kip leapt off the stage. As winner of his first round, he’d soon have to face another brainy alien. But right now he was dying to catch up with Finbar in the audience.

  ‘Where do you think Gorb disappeared to?’ Kip asked Finbar.

  A pair of grown-up aliens with hundreds of googly eyes sat a few rows in front of Finbar. Gorb’s parents, Kip guessed. They looked upset. Some of the Clevor aliens in the crowd were comforting them.

  ‘The rules did say that losing contestants would be separated until the quiz’s over,’ Finbar said. ‘But why?’

  Kip and Finbar exchanged glances. It all seemed a little…dramatic. Could it be linked to the stink flare that had hit them on their way to Clevor?

  Another pair of quiz contestants took the stage. One was bright green with a slimy frill for feet. The other was covered in soft fur.

  ‘The furry one is the contestant from Geekatron,’ said Finbar, looking at the program on the screen.

  The Clevor aliens in the audience had started whispering.

  They’re buzzing just seeing the Geekatron contestant, Kip thought. Looks like the rivalry is pretty serious.

  The next round kicked off. The kid from Geekatron was obviously smart. Still, Kip couldn’t help noticing that her questions were easier than the green alien’s. But that didn’t make sense. Einstein wouldn’t want Geekatron to make the finals…would he?

  It wasn’t long before the green alien got a question wrong.There was another cloud of purple fog.When it dissolved, the green kid was gone.

  Every muscle in Kip’s body tightened. The disappearance wasn’t a surprise this time. But just like last time, it felt sinister.

  Isn’t this bothering the other contestants? Kip wondered, looking around. But from what he could tell, they were too wrapped up in the quiz.

  Kip was desperate to know more about the disappearing kids. Where were they going? And more importantly, when would they come back?

  CHAPTER 5

  In between Kip’s rounds, he and Finbar watched the quiz. A cyborg from the BG-4 Galaxy got a question wrong about alien nose hockey – and vanished. A blue kid from Cobalt missed an easy one on sausages – and vanished. A blobby alien lost his round on a technicality – and vanished.

  Kip’s turn came around faster and faster as more aliens were eliminated. He identified alien flags. He remembered the president of the planet Flemm (the name sounded like clearing your throat). But every round he won meant that another alien kid disappeared.

  I’ll see if I can find out from the Clevor contestant what’s going on, he decided.

  Then Kip realised something weird. He hadn’t seen a single contestant from Clevor! He knew Clevor and Geekatron had to be kept apart. But Clevor’s name wasn’t on the list of competitors at all.

  How can Clevor win if they’re not competing?

  A piercing siren sounded. It was time for lunch. Afterwards, there’d be the last few rounds, and then the Grand Final.

  Kip and Finbar joined the swarm of brainy aliens and quiz contestants heading for the lobby.

  Hovering tables were dotted around. Kip and Finbar sat near Geekatron’s contestant. The Geek spoke their language perfectly. She introduced herself as Zut.

  ‘My questions are way too easy!’ she complained. ‘There’s no serious competition for me.’

  ‘What about Clevor?’Kip asked. ‘They’re smart.’

  ‘Geekatron or Clevor has won the quiz every single year,’ Zut agreed. ‘But our little moon Clevor only wins by cheating.’

  Finbar raised his shaggy eyebrows. Clevor hated being called a moon. No wonder Geekatron were their rivals!

  ‘Clevor’s contestant isn’t competing in the early rounds of the quiz,’ Zut continued. ‘He got a wildcard entry into the Grand Final. Guess they were too worried I’d beat him.’

  ‘Wow,’ Kip said. ‘You must be furious.’

  Furious enough to fire a stink missile? he wondered to himself.

  ‘Clevor says we cheated in the first-ever quiz,’ Zut said. ‘As if! We win because we’re clever and we study hard. Clevor are the cheaters.’

  ‘Lunch is served,’ interrupted a brainy Clevor waiter with a smile. He put down glasses of clear, frothy liquid. ‘Hope you lovely kids are enjoying your time here.’ He nodded politely to the Geekatron alien and walked off.

  Kip didn’t understand. Everyone on Clevor seemed so friendly! They didn’t seem to be faking it. Kip had been specially trained to recognise fakeness, and he had excellent Space Scout instincts.

  Kip took a sip from his glass. Immediately, there was a flash of white light. Sparks leapt out of Kip’s mouth.

  ‘It’s an AwakeShake. It’s all they drink on Clevor,’ the Geekatron alien explained. ‘The explosion is supposed to make you more alert.’

  Clevor might be friendly, but they are totally obsessed with being smart, Kip thought, forcing himself to swallow the liquid. Ugh! He didn’t really want any more AwakeShake, but he had a few more sips to be polite.

  He and Finbar headed back to the stage. Kip checked the board to see which alien he’d be facing next.

  Next round

  Earth v Geekatron

  Oh no. He was about to go head-to-head with Zut!

  When lunch was over, Kip climbed onto the stage. He sat down next to Zut. She grinned smugly. She seemed sure she was going to win.

  ‘This round, your questions are…’ Einstein began dramatically.

  Kip crossed every finger and toe. He hoped it was a subject he was good at.

  ‘…about the popular music of the Wiff Galaxy,’ Einstein finished.

  Phew! If it was alien maths, Kip would have been out. But he could sing ten hits from the Wiff Galaxy without even trying! He watched the intergalactic music-video channel on his SpaceCuff all the time.

  Einstein asked Zut to recite the lyrics to ‘Moon Rock’ by Spaceman Soup. Kip tried not to groan. It was a super-easy question. ‘Moon Rock’ had been a massive intergalactic hit last year. Naturally, Zut was word-perfect.

  ‘Kip Kirby,’ said Einstein. ‘Recite “Noise Bomb”, a minor hit by the Sylent Aliens.’

  That’s way harder than Zut’s question, Kip thought. Still, he wasn’t stumped. He knew the Sylent Aliens had no mouths. They sang by blinking! Kip was pretty sure that ‘Noise Bomb’ started with two long, slow blinks, followed by thirteen fast ones.

  Two left eyes, then three right, he coached himself, excitement rising. If he got this right, he’d be one step closer to beating Zut. But at that exact moment…

  Something flew into Kip’s eye.

  Kip’s eye started watering. It was unbearable, but he knew he mustn’t blink. If he did, he’d muck up the song.

  And then I�
�ll be out of the quiz! he thought.

  CHAPTER 6

  Kip’s eyes filled with water as he struggled to hold them open. His eyelids ached with the strain. But even with all his energy focusing on it, he couldn’t stop himself. He blinked!

  The particle dislodged from his eye, but Kip’s performance was ruined.

  ‘So sorry, Mr Kirby!’ came Einstein’s voice. He fiddled with his microphone. Kip noticed him push a red button on the handle. There was a hiss, and purple fog swirled around Kip.

  Einstein’s voice rang out through the fog. ‘The winner of this round is…Zut from Geekatron!’ He sounded oddly pleased Zut had won.

  Kip didn’t have time to wonder what that meant, though – the floor had started moving!

  AAAAAAH!

  A trapdoor swung open underneath Kip, and suddenly he was falling through the stage. Then…

  OOOOOOOF!

  Kip landed heavily in a gleaming metal chair. Above the chair was a large, clear bubble – it looked like a space helmet.

  Except for this strange chair, the space under the stage was empty. The trapdoor he’d fallen through snapped shut, completely blocking out the audience’s polite applause at Zut’s win.

  This place must be soundproof, thought Kip, quickly looking around. Creepy.

  He tried to get out of the chair, but he found he couldn’t. A powerful, invisible force was pulling him back.

  An ingenious alien security system? Kip wondered. He knew that human bodies had a weak magnetic field. If the chair was magnetised, it could be using his body’s magnetic force to hold him back.

  Suddenly the clear bubble above the chair began lowering itself towards Kip’s head. It touched his hair. Then his head passed though the bubble. It was stuck inside!

  With a surge of panic, Kip realised that he was trapped. Inside the bubble, air pressure built until Kip thought his head would explode.

  What’s happening? he thought, trying to stay calm. What’s this machine doing?

  His thoughts began to blur, just as a shaggy white shape streaked through the air. Finbar!

  ‘NOOOO!’ howled Finbar, tearing the bubble from Kip’s head. He ripped the chair’s power cord from the wall. The electro-magnetic force sticking Kip’s legs to the chair disappeared instantly.

  ‘How did you get here?’ Kip asked Finbar dozily. His brain felt as sluggish as a lazy alien mudfish.

  ‘I followed your scent,’ Finbar explained, padding towards the machine. ‘I climbed through an air vent.’

  He helped Kip up out of the chair, then leant over to read a metal plaque screwed to the wall. ‘It’s called a Hippocampus Deluxe,’ Finbar said, ‘I wonder what it’s used for.’

  Kip bit his lip. The fog in his head was beginning to lift. He wasn’t sure what the machine had done to him. But he was more worried than ever.

  ‘The other kids might have been in the machine much longer than me,’ Kip said to Finbar. ‘And if I feel this bad after only a few seconds…’

  Finbar’s sharp eyes spotted a door cut into the padding of a nearby wall. He bounded over.

  Through the door was a silent corridor lined with silver foam. There was no sign of the other kids.

  Suddenly, Finbar froze. ‘In here!’ he whispered. ‘Someone’s coming!’

  Finbar popped open another door in the padding that Kip hadn’t even noticed. For the zillionth time he was grateful for Finbar’s excellent vision and sense of smell.

  They tumbled through the door, pushing it silently shut behind them. The room was tiny, and the only window was a peephole looking out to the corridor.

  ‘What is this place?’ Kip shivered. ‘A jail cell?’

  ‘Einstein’s outside!’ Finbar said, glued to the peephole.‘He’s muttering to himself.’

  They couldn’t hear what Einstein was saying, but Kip knew one thing for sure. ‘Something’s very wrong with this quiz,’ he said gravely. ‘And Einstein’s involved!’

  Luckily, Kip had his SoundMouse with him. It was a robotic mouse made of a highly flexible material.That meant it could squeeze through the smallest gaps like a real Earth mouse could. Audio sensors told it where to hide to pick up the best sound. Then it sent the audio back wirelessly to an earpiece in Kip’s ear.

  Kip placed the mouse on the floor. It immediately squeezed under the door and hid a little way from Einstein.

  The earpiece in Kip’s ear crackled to life. He could hear Einstein perfectly. And what he was saying chilled Kip to the core.

  CHAPTER 7

  ‘Just a few more contestants to get rid of before Clevor meets Geekatron in the finals,’ Einstein muttered. Kip heard him throw open the door of a cell.

  ‘I’ll finally make up for the shame of losing the first-ever quiz to Geekatron,’ Einstein added bitterly. He’d dropped his jokey quizmaster act and sounded serious. ‘Now, where has that stupid Earthling got to?’

  Einstein must have lost to Geekatron when he was a kid! Kip thought. I wonder if he got the job of quizmaster to seek revenge.

  ‘He expected to find you in that chair,’ Finbar whispered. ‘You weren’t there, so now he’s looking for you.’

  Then Einstein’s headset bleeped. He paused, listening to the voice on the other end. ‘Alllllll-righty then,’ he said in his quizmaster voice. ‘See you in a moment.’

  ‘He’s leaving!’ Finbar whispered, squinting through the peephole.

  ‘Lucky,’ Kip said. ‘Maybe he was called back to hosting duties.’

  When Einstein had gone, Kip and Finbar left their cell to go exploring.

  ‘There are lots of doors here,’ Finbar said, feeling the walls. ‘The corridor must have more cells.’

  Kip figured the losing quiz contestants had to be inside. It was up to him to break them out! The Space Scout Code of Practice was very clear.

  Kip didn’t have much time. Any second, Einstein might be back with another losing contestant.

  The cell doors didn’t open like the first one, so Kip checked for a lock to pick, but he couldn’t find one.

  Maybe the locks are voice-activated, thought Kip. If that was true, he’d just need to work out Einstein’s password.

  Kip thought of his own SpaceCuff’s passwords. He always picked words that were important to him so he’d remember them easily.

  What word would be important to Einstein right now? Kip wondered. Straight away he had an idea.

  ‘Geekatron!’ Kip said firmly.

  The door clicked open a little way.

  ‘Stand back,’ Kip warned Finbar. A confused or angry alien kid might come racing out of the cell.

  But…nothing.

  Kip opened the door wider. Inside the cell was Gorb, the alien that Kip had beaten in the first round. He was sitting in the corner looking dazed.

  ‘Gorb!’ Kip said. ‘Come on, we’re setting you free.You can help us work out what’s going on here.’

  ‘That sounds hard,’ Gorb answered slowly. ‘I’m probably OK in here.’

  What? Kip thought. When he first met Gorb, the alien had seemed super-smart. This Gorb was a bit, well…thick.

  Kip tried the next cell along. Inside, he found the missing cyborg from the BG-4 Galaxy. He seemed as dim-witted as Gorb.

  What’s happened to these aliens? Kip wondered, worried. They were among the smartest in the galaxy before they lost a round of Clevor’s quiz. Before they fell into the machine…

  ‘Somehow that machine made these aliens stupid!’ Kip whispered.

  ‘The machine I rescued you from was called the Hippocampus Deluxe,’ Finbar replied thoughtfully. ‘The hippocampus is part of the brain.’

  Kip thought about his experience in the machine. His brain had felt tired, like he’d just done four maths tests in a row.

  Kip knew that brains had a natural electrical energy that powered their thoughts. Could that energy be drained? He explained his theory to Finbar.

  ‘Of course! So your brain was drained for the few seconds you were in the machine,’ Fin
bar said. ‘You went dopey, but then your brain’s energy built up again and you went back to normal.’

  The other kids weren’t lucky enough to have a 2iC to save them,’ said Kip. ‘Their brains would have been drained a lot more than mine!’

  If Kip’s theory was right, it would take ages for the other kids’ brain energy to be restored.

  It explained some things – like why Einstein was keeping the losing kids locked away.

  But Kip had to know more. Where was Einstein storing the energy? And what was he planning to do with it?

  CHAPTER 8

  Kip’s SpaceCuff beeped. He had a message from MoNa.

  ‘Let’s open the cell doors and rescue the kids,’ Finbar said urgently.

  But Kip was staring at his SpaceCuff. ‘MoNa’s system has detected a missile from Clevor heading for Geekatron,’ he said, looking white.

  Finbar’s whiskers quivered.

  ‘This rivalry is getting out of hand,’ Kip said. ‘We’ll have to work out what Einstein is up to, then free the kids later.’

  Getting to the bottom of Einstein’s plan would be impossible with a bunch of brain-drained kids in tow. Sometimes Kip’s job as a Space Scout meant making tough decisions.

  Finbar led the way to the air vent he’d climbed through earlier. It was near the Hippocampus Deluxe.

  Before they escaped, Kip and Finbar took another look at the machine. A thick cable at the back caught their attention.

  ‘The brain energy could be travelling along that cable,’ Finbar suggested.

  ‘Actually, I noticed one like that plugged into the weird orb on stage,’ Kip remembered.

  Of course! The orb, crackling with electrical energy. That had to be where the energy was stored.

  Kip was itching to get back up to the stage and check it out. But to get there, he and Finbar would have to scale the padded wall up to the air vent.

  Luckily, Kip’s latestWorldCorp mission-gear pack included GoRope.

  GoRope looked like a simple spray can with a fat nozzle. The nozzle shot out a high-tech polymer strong enough to support the body weight of ten grown-ups.